My Reflection

Well remember how I said we give a final testimony/reflection at zone conference, here is mine.

"Why?" The question why is something that has gone through my head countless times throughout my mission. I'm sure it is a question that you all have asked as well. I distinctly remember the first time I asked "Why?" was when I opened my call. My family and I were in was knowing that I would be serving in the same mission that two of my sisters had previously served in. I don't know why the Lord called us here, but He did. I served in a few of the same areas as my sisters thinking that I would meet, teach, and baptize someone that my sisters had met. Maybe I did, I don't know. But the Lord knows. He knows why, and that's good enough for me.

When I finished training Elder Nelson in the promised land of Nanzi, I was called to serve in the wonderful city of Yuanlin to be with Elder Zhang. I was there for two weeks and already havinging great time! Then on Christmas Eve I got a call from the assistants telling me that Iwas moving!! As you can imagine, I was very shocked. I asked them where I was going and they said back to Nanzi. After two short and great weeks in Yuanlin I was called to return to Nanzi to be with my favorite trainee of all time. We finished the transfer together and in four short weeks the Lord helped us find, teach, and baptize on of His lost sheep. When the end of the transfer came around, we both emailed President Teh asking if we could stay together for another transfer. We thought we would for sure! but when the transfers came around, I was moving again. Honestly, I was mad. That night I knelt in prayer wanting to express my anger and frustration but all that came to my mind was, "This is the Lord's will." I just didn't understand why. President told me in an email that he seriously considered letting us stay together, but the answer was clear. After ad transfer full of hard work and lots of fun with Elder Jones, I felt I finally understood why. WE were able to help each other grow and improve. There was a lot of learning in that transfer. Through all this time I was very confused, but I know the Lord knew what He was doing... and that was good enough for me.

The next experience is more recent. Serving in this current area, I have never worked with more golden investigators in my entire mission. But sadly, none of them have been baptized. We know that they have received answers to prayers, felt the Holy Ghost, and increased their faith in Christ, but they haven't been willing to make the commitment to baptism. I just don't understand why. One day as I was pondering the fact that they know it's true but they won't accept it, a very clear thought came into my head saying, "Now you know how the Savior felt." He performed miracles, taught multitudes, and served others but yet they still rejected Him. In a talk given by Elder Holland on the topic of missionary work he says, "Why would we believe? Why would we think that it would be easy for us when it was never easy for Him?" On that day, I questioned why. On that day I learned how the Savior must have felt. And on that day, I built my faith in Him.

Isaiah 55:8-9 reads, "For as my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." Through these experiences I have come to know that God has a plan for each and everyone of us. His thoughts are higher than ours.There will be times on your mission as there was in mine, in which you will ask "why?" "Why does he or she have to be my companion?" "why do we have to follow these rules?" "Why can't we find new investigators?" or even sometimes, "Why am I here?" I promise you that if you trust the Lord, you will understand. Maybe not immediately, but down the road you will. Don't doubt Him or your leaders. Be as the apostles of old that when Christ calls saying, "Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men." that you can respond as they did, "And they straightway left their nets, and followed Him."

This is His work and He knows what He is doing. He is at the helm of this, 'The Old Ship Zion.' Learn to love Him, learn to trust Him, learn to be like Him and all will be well.

In closing, my mission has meant the world to me!! These two years have helped me find and strengthen my testimony of Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and their restored church. Through this I have been able to find pure happiness. When I first started my mission I always heard people say that this is the happiest time in their life. I didn't believe that! I felt my senior year of high school was the happiest I could have even been! But I quickly learned that as I do what the Lord wants me to do, I will find pure joy.

The time goes too fast. Don't was a second of it, for there is no time to be wasted. Make the most of the time you have! Love your companions, the people, the language, other missionaries, yourself, and the Lord.

I know He lives. This is His work. Be ambitious for Christ!!!

Don't look forward to this day.

In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.